Looking into my rearview mirror of my dearest Nissan XTerra, I see my beloved Chi Omega sticker sitting high and mighty in the middle of the back window.
When I caught myself looking back, as I normally do each and everyday while I drive, I recognized that this glance was different.
My glance held a glimpse of my admiration for my time with Chi Omega. When I was a Chi Omega New Member my freshman year, I remember the pride and honor I felt as I called myself a Chi Omega. With the t-shirts and insignia that I began to possess, I felt that I finally belonged. I know this may sound silly, but I can honestly bet that we have each felt this kind of emotion of pride with something that we have been apart of.
As a New Member, I remember the the purpose I felt and the hope that this organization gave me. Insecure Courtney finally had something to latch on to, almost as if the Lord was not enough. I acknowledged that the Lord was good, yet Chi Omega was a tangible mark.
Thinking back on my time, Chi Omega has given me people to know, to fight for, and to serve. In my immaturity, I realized that for some time, Chi Omega was my identity. When people would ask me where I went to school and what I was involved in, I proudly proclaimed that I was a Texas A&M Chi Omega. Now, I know that there is nothing wrong with being proud of the organization that I am apart of or the team that I am on, but the issue lies in where my own hope and identity was stored.
To be honest, upon graduation fear crept in of how I would be without having my own Chi Omega chapter. Thoughts of what will define me, what will help my confidence grow, and what kind of people can I call friend surrounded my anxious heart. With these thoughts I realized that I was putting my hope in something that was bound to fail me anyways; I was putting pressure on something that would never satisfy, and that would eventually dry out.
YET, I know that the Lord uses seasons in organizations and teams to allow us to be used by Him, and to acknowledge His blessings through people. The beautiful women of the Xi Kappa Chapter of Chi Omega at Texas A&M gave me a home for 4 years. They gave me a place to grow in my walk with the Lord and grow in my confidence as a leader. These women gave me the platform to speak my heart, and gave me the patience to listen as I did so each Monday evening. These are the good things that came from this place. These are a few of many memories that I will forever hold on the tablet of my heart.
This glance made me wonder if it was time to take that sticker off. Part of me really dreads to do so. On one hand, it is a beating to take those things off, but on the other hand it really does mark the surrendering of this chapter of life. It means surrendering all that it held so that I might TRULY believe His mercies are good, even when I cannot see the next page of the newest chapter in my story for His glory. Taking off the sticker on the back of my car will resemble the effort I will make to maintain this sisterhood well beyond my college days, because we have been taught to be sisters on purpose.
How exciting that my journey with Chi Omega is not officially over. I have the honor in stewarding this gift of teaching and leading as I get to meet with women all over the United States. What a privilege it is to be invited into many Chi Omega chapters across the States to speak to women, just like me. I get to look them dead in the eyes and see a piece of me in each of them, to assure them of their identity, to tell them that they are far beyond the organization they are apart of and the position they hold there. This is the effort I am willing to make as I am on the road talking with many women and keeping my own Chi Omega experience forever nestled in my heart.
To the women of the Xi Kappa chapter, thank you. Thank you for being the dear women that you are, the opportunities that you give, and the leadership that you instill. To the younger women of Xi Kappa, acknowledge the honor it is to be apart of this great sisterhood. Be reminded of the women that came long before you and strove for excellence. Linger with each other and those older women ahead of you. Be bold and ask questions. I pray for the legacy of our beloved chapter. I firmly believe that each year this sisterhood is better than we found it, which is saying a lot due to the fact that the lineage of women that have paved the way are world changers, each one of them. Dream big sisters and welcome each other home.
To my dearest Phi pledge class, thank you. Thank you for being my friends, roommates, and sisters. I pray that you each continue to flourish and thrive into the woman that you were created to be. Like I reminded each of you during my time as president, Chi Omega is a home base. Chi Omega is a home that is used to cultivate and aid in your growth so that you can go out to do hard and holy things. Dearest Phis, it is your turn to do hard and holy things. May you go out with grace and dignity on all occasions. May you be democratic rather than exclusive, lovable rather than popular. Work earnestly dear ones, speak kindly, act sincerely, and choose thoughtfully the course which occasion and conscious demand.
Looking in the rearview mirror can be a scary thing to do. Yet, I assure you that looking ahead holds some great adventure that one day we'll look back to see.
Take a look at favorite shop of mine and their beaded merchandise seen in the blog picture. The Naturalist Shop was created in 2018 when two college women put their ideas together to bring something different to jewelry and keychains using hand-made clay beads. Take a look at their store and share with your friends and family! Show my dear people some love and tell them hello!